Feeling like you don’t belong is one of the hardest struggles adoptees and foster care survivors face. I know this because I’ve lived it.
Growing up, I often felt out of place, like I didn’t truly fit anywhere. Being taken from my biological family and raised in a different culture left me feeling disconnected from both worlds. I didn’t know who I really was, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t belong.
If you’re feeling this way, I want you to know you’re not alone. I see you. I feel you. And I want to help you find peace.
Why Do We Feel Like We Don’t Belong?
Adoptees and foster care survivors often struggle with identity.
- We lose our roots. Being separated from our biological family can leave us questioning who we are and where we came from.
- We feel disconnected. Moving between families, cultures, or homes can make it hard to feel grounded.
- We fear rejection. Early experiences of abandonment or loss can create a deep fear of not being accepted.
These feelings are real, but they don’t define us. Healing is possible.
How to Start Finding Peace
1. Ground Yourself in the Present
When you feel lost, grounding techniques can help you feel safe and connected.
For more grounding techniques, read my blog post: Understanding Grounding: What It Means and Why It’s Important.
2. Practice Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT Tapping)
EFT is a simple tool to release emotional pain. It involves tapping on specific points on your body while focusing on what you feel. Not sure what EFT is or how it works? Watch this video to understand Emotional Freedom Technique.
Example Script:
Tap on the side of your hand and say:
- “Even though I feel like I don’t belong, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Repeat this while tapping on points around your body until you feel lighter.
On my YouTube channel, I share EFT Tapping sessions to help adoptees, foster care survivors and anyone on their healing journey release emotional pain. Subscribe here to find sessions designed to support you.
3. Use Affirmations Daily
Affirmations can rewire your mind to believe new truths about yourself.
Say these out loud:
- “I am enough exactly as I am.”
- “I deserve love and connection.”
- “I belong to myself, and that is enough.”
Want to learn how to create powerful affirmations and how to use them? Read my blog post: Affirmations: Rewiring Minds for Positivity.
4. Connect with Your Inner Child
Adoptees often carry wounds from childhood. Healing your inner child can create a sense of belonging within yourself.
How to start:
- Visualise your younger self.
- Picture hugging them and saying, “You are loved. You are safe.”
- Remind your inner child that they are not alone anymore.
5. Create Your Own Definition of Belonging
Belonging doesn’t have to mean fitting into someone else’s expectations.
It can mean:
- Feeling safe in your own skin.
- Building meaningful relationships with people who accept you as you are.
- Creating a sense of home within yourself.
Embrace Your Individuality
When I stopped trying to fit into a box and started embracing who I really was, everything changed.
I realised that I didn’t need to look or act a certain way to belong. I could create my own identity, one that honoured both my past and my future.
You can do the same.
You don’t have to be like everyone else. Your differences are what make you special. Embrace them. Celebrate them.
You Are Not Alone
If you feel like you don’t belong, I want you to know something important, you do belong.
You belong to this world. You belong to yourself. And you belong to the life you’re creating, step by step.
Healing takes time, but you’re not alone on this journey.
To read more about my story, visit A Journey of Resilience: From Adoption to Healing.
Take the Next Step in Your Healing
I created my YouTube channel, Healing After Adoption, to help people just like you.
On my channel, you’ll find:
- EFT Tapping videos to release emotional pain.
- Soon, I’ll also share meditations and Reiki practices to support your journey.
These tools helped me heal my own feelings of not belonging, and I know they can help you too.
Subscribe today and let’s walk this journey together.
You are enough. You are loved. You belong.
Thank you so much for reading.
A few links:
If you’d like to work with me, get in touch via: www.MaheshaRice.com
Join our Circle of Light & Healing, every Sunday at 8pm (UK Time): https://mahesharice.com/circle/
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel, a sanctuary of hope and transformation for adoptees, foster care survivors and anyone on their healing journey: https://www.youtube.com/@MaheshaRice
My FREE guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, and Burnout: introduces EFT Tapping, a powerful self-help tool you can use every day to manage stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. Download it here: https://mahesharice.com/free-guide/
If you are feeling generous, you can support me as a writer by buying me a coffee here: https://buymeacoffee.com/mahesharice. I very much appreciate it.
Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/mahesharice
With Love & Light,
