Childhood should be a time of innocence and safety, but for many of us, it’s a period marked by pain and betrayal. I was adopted at eight, hoping for a loving home. Instead, I faced years of abuse from someone I trusted, someone I thought was offering me the love and care I was missing from my biological parents. My trust was shattered, and my adopted parents failed to provide the safety and protection I desperately needed.
The Pain of Betrayal
I was filled with hope when I first came into my adoptive home. I wanted to believe that this was my chance for a better life, to feel loved and secure. But the reality was starkly different. The person who I thought would be a supportive figure turned out to be my abuser. This betrayal cut deep, and the psychological scars were immense.
The Emotional Turmoil
Living in a constant state of fear and confusion, I felt isolated and trapped. The abuse left me questioning my self-worth and my ability to trust anyone. The emotional turmoil was profound, affecting every aspect of my life. I struggled with feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame, emotions that were only intensified by the reactions of those around me.
The Failure of Those Meant to Protect
My adoptive parents, the people who were supposed to protect me, failed to recognize the signs of abuse. Whether it was denial, ignorance, or inability to confront the truth, their inaction left me vulnerable. The lack of safety and support from them compounded my trauma, making it difficult to find any solace in my environment.
Speaking Out and Facing Stigma
When I finally mustered the courage to speak out about the abuse, I hoped for support and understanding. Instead, I was met with disbelief, shame, and a warning to keep silent. I was told that sharing my story would disgrace me and my future children. This reaction was devastating. It made me feel even more isolated and reinforced the damaging notion that the abuse was somehow my fault.
The Turning Point
My turning point started when I met my now-husband 15 years ago. Sharing my story with him made me realize I had no shame to hold. He saw me as a survivor and was blooming with pride at everything I had overcome. He believed me, trusted me, supported me, cared for me, and truly loved me. For the first time in a very long time, I felt enough.
While working with a client recently, I experienced another significant moment of transformation. This client truly connected with me and my story, making her feel like she was not alone. She felt comfortable being vulnerable with me, which helped her find some light and start her journey towards healing and freedom. This inspired me to want to do more and help more women like her and myself.
Finding Healing and Support
Healing from such deep wounds is a long and challenging journey. It requires immense courage and the right support system. Therapy, support groups, and trusted friends or family members can play crucial roles in this process. It’s important to remember that healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have setbacks. What matters is finding the strength to keep moving forward.
The Importance of Community
Building a community of survivors is essential. It provides a safe space where individuals can share their experiences, offer mutual support, and work towards collective healing. When we come together, we can break the silence and create a world where survivors are believed, supported, and empowered.
A Call to Action
If you’ve experienced anything similar, please know you are not alone. There is hope and healing out there. Reach out for help. I hear you and I stand with you. Share your story, seek support, and let’s build a community where survivors can find the love and healing they deserve. Here are some resources where you can find support:
– RAINN – (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network – USA)
– Helping Survivors – a proud partner of RAINN. Their mission is to assist anyone who has been victimized by sexual assault or abuse.
– Saprea – Empowering healing for individuals who were sexually abused as children or adolescents through retreats, support groups, and online resources.
– NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children)]- UK charity offering support for children and young people affected by abuse.
– SurvivorsUK – Support for male survivors of sexual abuse in the UK.
– NAPAC (National Association for People Abused in Childhood) – UK charity supporting adult survivors of childhood abuse.
– Therapy, Coaching and Counselling services
Empowerment and Solidarity
Together, we can break the silence and heal from our past. Your story matters. You matter. By standing together, we can create a world where survivors are supported and abusers are held accountable. Let’s work towards a future where every child can grow up feeling safe and loved.
The Cries of a Young Girl
To conclude, I’d like to share a poignant poem written for me by my friend and mentor, Quintus Pillai:
Thank you so much for reading.
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With Love & Light,
