Forgiveness is a word that often feels heavy, especially when we’ve been deeply hurt. Yet, it holds immense power to transform our lives, freeing us from the burden of anger, resentment, and pain. Contrary to popular belief, forgiveness is not about excusing the behaviour of others or forgetting what happened; it’s about releasing the emotional grip it holds over you.
I want to start by sharing something personal with you. Forgiveness was one of the hardest things for me to do, especially when it came to my childhood. I went through so much pain, and for the longest time, I believed that forgiving those who hurt me meant excusing their actions or saying, “It’s okay; I forgive you.” That felt impossible because their actions were not okay, and I couldn’t imagine letting them off the hook.
It took me years to understand that forgiveness wasn’t about them – it was about me. It wasn’t about excusing what they did or pretending it didn’t happen. Forgiveness was about freeing myself from the emotional weight that their actions had placed on me. When I realized that, something shifted. I began acknowledging the pain, and slowly, I started forgiving – not for their sake, but for mine. I forgave those who hurt me and those who failed me, and in doing so, I found a freedom I didn’t know was possible.
I know how hard it can be, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. Forgiveness may feel impossible right now, but once you truly understand what it means, it becomes so much easier. Let’s explore this journey together.
Why Forgiveness Matters
When we hold onto anger and resentment, we are essentially carrying a heavy emotional weight. This weight can manifest as stress, anxiety, or even physical illness. Forgiveness is not about condoning harmful actions – it’s about choosing freedom. By forgiving, we’re not letting the other person off the hook; we’re letting ourselves off the hook of emotional suffering.
Benefits of Forgiveness:
- Reduces stress and anxiety
- Improves mental and emotional well-being
- Enhances relationships with others
- Boosts physical health by lowering blood pressure and improving immune function
- Cultivates inner peace and clarity
Misconceptions About Forgiveness
- Forgiveness Equals Weakness: Forgiveness is a strength. It takes courage to face your emotions, process them, and let go.
- Forgiving Means Forgetting: Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It’s about accepting the past without letting it control your present or future.
- It’s About the Other Person: Forgiveness is primarily for you. It’s a gift you give yourself to release emotional pain.
How to Begin the Journey of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a process, and it looks different for everyone. Here are some steps to help you begin:
1. Acknowledge Your Pain
Start by being honest with yourself about what hurt you. Write it down, speak it out loud, or share it with someone you trust. Acknowledging the pain is the first step toward releasing it.
2. Understand the Impact
Reflect on how holding onto resentment affects your life. Ask yourself: Is it worth carrying this pain any longer? Often, the realization of its impact motivates us to let go.
3. Shift Your Perspective
Consider the situation from the other person’s point of view. While this doesn’t excuse their actions, it can help you find compassion or understanding, which is crucial for forgiveness.
4. Release Through Forgiveness Practices
There are many ways to work toward forgiveness:
- Meditation: Focus on your breath and visualize releasing anger or resentment with each exhale.
- Journaling: Write a letter to the person who hurt you, expressing your feelings. You don’t have to send it; the act of writing can be healing.
- EFT Tapping: Use tapping to release the emotional charge associated with the hurtful event.
5. Set Boundaries
Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the same behaviour to continue. Setting boundaries is an act of self-love and protects you from future harm.
6. Seek Professional Guidance
Sometimes, the wounds are too deep to navigate alone. A therapist, counselor, or healing practitioner can provide tools and support to guide you through the process.
Forgiveness as a Daily Practice
Forgiveness is not a one-time event; it’s an ongoing process. You may find yourself revisiting feelings of hurt and resentment, and that’s okay. Be gentle with yourself and treat forgiveness as a daily act of self-care.
Daily Affirmations for Forgiveness:
- “I release the past and embrace the present with love.”
- “I forgive myself and others for the sake of my peace.”
- “Forgiveness is my path to freedom and healing.”
Final Thoughts
Forgiveness is not about erasing the past but about reclaiming your power in the present. It’s an act of self-love that allows you to move forward without the weight of resentment holding you back.
By choosing forgiveness, you create space for inner peace, joy, and growth. As someone who’s walked this path, I promise you that while forgiveness may be hard, it’s worth it. Take it one step at a time, and trust in the process – you are deserving of the freedom it brings.
Thank you so much for reading.
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With Love & Light,
